1338990124_running out of timeDo we have that much time on our hands?

”I have made it impermissible for myself to waste a single hour of my life”
Hasan al Basri said;
“O Son of Adam, you are nothing but a number of days, whenever each day passes then a part of you has gone”
We think that we are made out of blood, flesh and bones
Al Hasan, the scholars of Islam would say, “No….you’re made out of time….hours”
If an hour leaves you, that’s part of you gone for good
It’s never ever going to come back
You are made of time

What are we doing with our time time?

Imagine yourself brothers and sisters, running, running to a family, your family….
Your children, wife or husband, who are on the brink on dying from thirst and you have a bucket of water, how fast are you running to get to them before they die?
Now imagine there is a hole in that bucket and you put your hand on the hole, and the water is coming out through your fingers
How would you feel to see that water dripping?
This is our analogy here on earth…we are all running towards the hereafter whether in a right or wrong direction….We’re running that way and time is falling away….hours are falling away….years are passing….and we’re not doing anything about it.

58fd135faed7aa55b4b9539078469fa0What are we doing with our time?

Waiting to ask Allah SWT for a second chance?
Allah SWT will tell us, Did we not give you lives long enough for you to receive admonition?….if you wanted to receive it?….and didn’t the warner come to you?

Time is the most valuable commodity that you possess
They say time is gold, this is incorrect, time is more valuable than gold
Gold comes and goes
But time…When it’s gone, it’s gone for good
That second that just ticked on the clock
Will never come again….

What are we doing with our time?


My Unplanned Sabbatical Year

2016 turned out to be, what I now call, my unplanned sabbatical year. A year that was by far one of my best years yet.

After relocating to Cape Town from Johannesburg at the end of 2015, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do with my life. The two things that I did know was, 1) I do not want to get back into the corporate world and 2) I want to be a housewife (very ambitious, I know). The housewifery wasn’t my long-term plan, but I figured what better way to start the new year in a new city.

So how did I spend my year?

Doing the things that I love.

The Kitchen
The one room in my home that makes me completely happy. I’ve spent day in and day out cooking up a storm and experimenting with new tastes and flavours. I must admit that it didn’t always work out, but at least I’ve tried it by putting it through the test. Over the years, I’ve developed a love for cooking and it to be the most therapeutic “chore”.

Spiritual Enhancement
2017-02-17_12-45-52For many people spirituality does not coexist with religion. I consider myself to be quite fortunate as I was able to explore my spirituality through religion. Last year, I’ve experienced the best Ramadaan ever. Even though we were nowhere close to family, the whole experience was moving. I looked forward mostly to Taraweeh (special evening prayers are conducted in Ramadaan, during which long portions of the Qur’aan are recited) and I longed for it most when Ramadaan bade farewell. The highlight for me however, was a ladies programme I attended, where I was in an audience of 4000 women! Let’s just say that once I’ve left the veils from my eyes were lifted!

Me, Myself and I
When you’ve been married for as long as I have been, you never really have reason to do things alone. Besides, I was never really comfortable with it anyway. With Mr. M at work, I didn’t have a choice but to do things alone. There was no one around to grab a coffee with or take up yoga classes. I’ve learnt to enjoy my own company. When I had weekends to myself, I would meander through markets by myself, as if it was the most normal thing for me to do.

Stop, Drop and Yoga
I’ve always had a keen interest in yoga practice. I’ve just never had the time to take it seriously. I’ve started under a yogi while in Johannesburg, but the enthusiasm soon fizzled out.

With all the time I had on my hands, I decided to take up classes, which I’m pleased to say is still part of my life. In the beginning, yoga was just about the poses and trying to fold myself into pretzels. Until I realised that the goal is to create space where you were once stuck. To unveil the layers of protection you’ve built around your heart. To appreciate your body and become aware of the mind and the noise it creates. To make peace with who you are. But mostly, it was about going to my mat and feeling, not accomplishing.

A Book or Three
My deep love for books stems from when I was a child. The first book I’ve ever owned was “The Gingerbread Man”, which was gifted to me at my pre-school graduation. My favourite book would have to be the children’s classic “Heidi” by Johanna Spyri. I still sometimes dream about living in the Swiss Alps.
I’ve spent so much time reading last year, that at one point, I felt like the characters in my books were my friends. I’ve made a little reading nook in my bedroom, and winter afternoons became my most treasured moments when I was lost in a book.

Take me to Nature
There is a wealth of natural wonders to see and experience in this city. From hiking up mountains, chasing waterfalls, swimming in dams, long walks on the beach, Cape Town is definitely a city worth showing off its natural beauty. I’ve always been in touch with nature, but my first year in Cape Town really connected me to nature.2017-02-17_12-49-00

I’ve had to deal with many frustrations. Not knowing what I really wanted to do with my life. Doubting whether or not we made the right decision to move. In hindsight, I should have savored every minute of that time, as I now believe that I was exactly where I needed to be. My unplanned sabbatical year prepped me for my new journey, even though I had no idea at the time what that was…..

Life is short…..

imagesCAFKQ0BJOne of the most common clichés of all time right? Right. It’s short, simple, and when overused, we sometimes stop realising the true meaning of it….it’s truth.

On January 2nd, I lost a friend. 30 years young. And although we stayed in contact, I haven’t seen her in 7 years. We lived about 50km apart, and every time she wanted us to get together, I always had an excuse. There will always be next time right? Wrong. The next time I would see her, was at her funeral. Her passing made me realise, that time should not be taken for granted. No one knows how much time we have left.

Over the past two months, there has been very few days when I scrolled my facebook feed, and didn’t come across a young life that was tragically lost. Young people. People like us. People who have their whole lives ahead of them, who has all the time in the world to chase their dreams. But they never had that time, none of us do. It’s an illusion. Our lives are short. We think we really grasp this but we don’t. It should terrify us, as  it terrifies me sometimes in the stillness of the night, when it seems no one else is terrified but me!

Every day, that we are given, is a gift. Regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof, our time on earth is limited. Nothing is guaranteed. Nothing is permanent. We spend time and money as though we’ll always be here. We buy shiny things as though they’re worth the stress of attachment. We put off the “once in a lifetime” activities/adventures/trips because we believe we’ll be around next year to do it. We don’t tell the ones we love how much we love them often enough because we assume there’s always tomorrow. And we fear. Oh, do we fear. We stick it out in miserable jobs and situations because we’re afraid of the risk of stepping out. We don’t reach high enough or far enough because we’re worried we’ll fail, forgetting – or never realising – that it’s better to fail spectacularly while reaching for the stars than it is to succeed at something we never really wanted in the first place.

imagesCAKG2G42We think we’ve got forever and that these concerns that weigh us down are so pressing. We worry about the trivial, to the neglect of the most precious thing we have: moments we’ll never see again. We talk of killing time, passing time, and getting through the week, forgetting we’re wishing away the moments that comprise our lives. We say time is money when in fact the time we have is ALL we have. Money can be borrowed, time can’t. We fear taking risks, unaware that the biggest risk we run in playing it safe is in fact living as long as we hope and never doing the things we dreamed of. And then it’s too late. We watched our favourite TV shows, we fought a losing battle with our weight, we picked up the guitar once in a while and never quite started the spanish language course we wanted to do. We managed to get a large flatscreen and new cars once in a while, but the list of things we would have done if we could really, truly could have done anything, kept growing. And we never did them.

Life is short. Don’t just exist, Live! Treasure every moment. Tell the people you love that you love them. Be aware of who and what you spend your time on. Make the most of every day. Lastly….be thankful that you’re alive, and that you have another day to live your best life.


In memory of Farzahnah Patel. RIP my dear friend.


Happiness Is Internal

“Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow.” ~ Quoted by Paul H Dunn

This is a lesson I’ve learned quiet late in my life, but all too grateful that I did. I’ve been searching everywhere for something that was right inside of me. I just needed to have my windows cleaned, the windows to my soul, that looks internally, to where my own happiness lies. Nothing and no one is responsible for happiness but you, cliché I know, it’s so easy to say those words, but living it is another story all together….

Two months ago, I attended a workshop “Discover Yourself” and that’s when I experienced a true paradigm shift. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, I see the world differently, and finally I can give meaning to life, my life. Attending that workshop was the best gift I could have ever given to myself.

We sometimes put our happiness in things, or times. How many times have you not said to yourself “I will be happy when…….[fill in the blank]” or “I will be happy if I have……[fill in the blank]. I’ve done this over and over. I also know that when that time arrived or things materialised, I was not fulfilled, that void was still there. It’s sad,  how we wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all our lives for happiness, when all the time it was right there, we just never looked inside.

I choose to free my mind of worry….
I choose to free my heart of hate….
I choose to live simply…..
I choose to be happy!

The Internal Storm’s That We’re Just Not ready For

“You can outdistance that which is running after you, but you cannot outdistance that which is running inside you” African Proverb

I had it all under control. I was bigger than anything that came my way. I had all the answers to the questions in my head. I was the master of my life. I thought I had it all under control….Until I felt it. The BANG!


My soul needed down time. Two weeks, just two weeks off from all that was my daily life and practice. Yet,as my body and soul thirsted for it, my ego struggled with the decision. My mind knew it needed a time out, but my ego argued with me. Fought me!

When was the last time that you focused on really, truly not “doing” anything? My ego wanted me to stay busy; do the usual activities, keep pushing forward, and ultimately, keep things the same. It started becoming irritated by the stillness that the absence of those activities would create. But, my soul knew that calmness is what was needed.

So often we don’t want to “look” at what’s inside of us, and the ego helps us find ways to “distract” us, makes up “stories” or find “reasons” to avoid what’s inside. We all have different stories. But, whatever the reality is, once the ego no longer can keep us distracted, what is inside, will still be there, inside, waiting to be acknowledged. It sits in the eye of the storm.

Perhaps you have had the awareness that you are holding onto something, staying distracted, or running from whatever it is on the “inside”. The ego wants to keep you away from the eye of the storm; the soul just wants you to be authentic, feel it, process it, and release the energy’s hold over you. I knew that I had to.
Over the years I’ve noticed just how easy it is to give into the ego. When we have to deal with grief, losing someone we care about, or after a break-up, we “keep busy”. And by “keeping busy”, we simply suppressing that which is inside of us waiting to be acknowledged.


I looked inside of me, not only because I needed to, but because I believe wholeheartedly, that we have a responsibility to heal ourselves…from within. We need to leap into the eye of the storm…and embrace the stillness

When Life Takes Over

It seems like a lifetime since my last post.  This after I committed to write 2 posts every month last year. This year, however, I am not re committing as I know I will fail miserably…….. Again.

There’s this famous John Lennon quote, “Life happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”

I’ve heard and read this quote many a times, but it’s only after the past few months that I’ve realised the true meaning of it.  We’re so busy making plans, months in advance, that we forget about the here and now. And when our plans don’t go accordingly, we end up disappointed.

Some time last year, (well in fact every year) I made all these plans for Mr M and I, as to how we’ll be spending the holidays during December. And so far, every year was a success. Accept for the past December. After having all these plans in place, something was missing from the equation…….Mr M! Life took over, and Mr M spent the entire month working crazy hours (without choice that is). We barely spoke……..I recall a time where I haven’t seen him I three whole days!

But amidst all of this, new friendships were developed, I’ve spent some quality time with my family and I had plenty oc time to self – reflect. Had this happen to me 3 years ago, I would never have seen the positive of it, but rather hang on to the disappointment associated with it. My world was built on routine, mental preparation and planning, planning, planning. I’ve always had the need to be in control. I could not function if every minute of my day was not spent according to my mental schedule. I had to get 8 hours sleep every night (weekends included). Spontaneity never existed for me, because routine was all I knew. It wasn’t until I realised how much living I was missing out on, when I decided to break out of what was my life. At first, it was the most difficult thing to do. And now, yes I make plans, and no, it doesn’t always work out, because as much as we sometimes don’t want to accept it, life will always be in control. Life will always be happening, but I feel happier inside than I’ve ever been. I don’t regret breaking free.

I’ve learned that life’s course cannot be altered to suit our needs and wants. We can, however, alter the way we view things. We can either spend all our time dwelling on the past or we can embrace every living moment and find the one good thing that comes out from every disappointment experienced.

Is Peace Ever Attainable?

“Never before have we had so little time in which to do so much” Franklin D. Roosevelt

PeaceIf that was true in  his time, how much more accurate is it today? Sometimes the fast pace of this life just overwhelms me, and I don’t know which way to turn. I just feel so ungrounded. Peace eludes me. My fast paced life leads to various types of multitasking such as cooking dinner with my hair still wet after a shower, or working at my computer as I gulp down my lunch.

Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to put the brakes on, and stop the mad rush for just a little while? Stepping out of the continual raging whirlwind, and into peace?

Most of us turn our tv’s or computers on the minute we wake up, or return to our homes. We are so unaccustomed to silence, and yet we wonder why we don’t feel at peace. It seems like something or someone is always either talking, beeping, buzzing, ringing, or playing music every minute of our lives. Everywhere we go, there is noise. Sometimes the music is so loud in restaurants that we can hardly talk. And now, most of our favourite eating places have also added tv’s! This has always aggravated me, because how can anyone carry on a conversation with the tv blaring? We used to talk to each other, but there’s not much opportunity anymore.

We can’t even be quiet in our cars. Tha radio is turned up loud, drivers talking on their phones and cars that now have a tv up front, by the driver. It’s insane!

City driving is another distressful event on its own! If I even hesitate a second, when the light turns green, the person behind me is already hooting for me to get a move on. Sometimes I barely have time to get my foot off the brake and onto the accelerator! (Hence my hatred for driving) Tempers flare regularly as drivers race to get an available parking space.

Is there any peace on earth?

Then there are the continual technological distractions to keep up with. Our phones aren’t just for conversations anymore. We can access the internet, take pictures and videos, play games, download music, movies and series. There’s emails, instant messaging, social media, amongst a whole lot more. Have you noticed the billboards lately? They’re no longer just a large sign way up in the sky. They look more like movie screens, with moving pictures and flashing colours. Does anyone watch the road when they’re driving anymore? Could there be more continual stimulation to our senses? Seems like everything is in perpetual motion.

Everywhere we go, there is noise, chaos, and busyness. Can we ever get a break? Not in this crazy world, where we run until we collapse. We don’t give ourselves a chance to recover, do we?

What are we all looking for? I think the overwhelming answer would have to be peace. Inner and outer peace. I’m not even sure how attainable that is, but I do know that, that is most certainly what I am missing in my life right now.

Am I Who I Am?

QuestionI like listening to music and watching certain tv programs. I love being around my immediate family. I enjoy great company, and the outdoors. I hate being wrong. I value honesty, loyalty and kindness. These are hard and true facts, but there is a lot I do not know about myself.

I don’t know how I feel about abortions, I have mixed feelings about religion, and I don’t know what I think about the current political situation of our country. I have no stock answer to offer about a life-changing experience or a moment of enlightenment, and it is hard for me to give a comprehensive proclamation of who I am, for my identity unfolds more every day as my experiences grow. At almost 30, I believe there’s still a lot to be unfolded.

I dislike the saying “I am trying to find myself” because my identity is not lost, it just needs more uncovering. Luckily for me, what I love to do helps me uncover more about myself. I really do enjoy writing, even if I am the only one interested in my work. Writing is my self-reflection.

Am I who I am? Or am I what I’ve been told I am and taught to be?

Growing up, I’ve always been told that I’m stuck-up, and I believed it, and yes I was, but is that who I was, or was I that because of what I’ve been told? I’ve recently made this discovery, and the truth is; I’m not stuck – up! No, I am just not comfortable around people I don’t know very well.

I’m embarking on this journey of uncovering me…….one experience at a time.

Collect Memories Not Things

As an adult, I sit back and reflect on my past years, from childhood, to being a teenager, to growing into an adult. The one valuable lesson I have learnt over the past years, is that memories hold so much more value than that of things, the things I so badly wanted, and had to have because it was the trend, or because everyone had it.

Thinking back to my childhood, the memory that immediately comes to mind is playing; house with my sisters, hide and seek until after dark, hopscotch, and cricket on the road. We played school, marbles, yoyo and monkey in the middle. These are just a few of the things that come to mind. Nowhere in the memories I hold on to, is the any association with specific things.I want more

As a young adult, things became very important to me; a part of me I’d say. I used things to fill up what was missing inside me; contentment! Branded clothing became a necessity, it was essential to have the latest phone (something we can’t keep up with in this era of technology). Branded sneakers and sunglasses, to name a few “things”! I remember a time in my life when “buying” gave me instant satisfaction, from the things I’ll never use to the fancy gadgets I had no need for or clue how to use.

We’re now in a time where culture, society, television ads and every magazine encourages us or makes us believe that we “need” more. We all, at some point feel the pressure of having to please ourselves, by satisfying our thirst for more. It makes us feel good (for short periods of time). We find our “ego” voices inside us justifying why we need “that new thing” and if we don’t get it, we throw a pity party! (I’m so guilty of that, I feel terrible right now just thinking of some of  the occasions where i actually got my way!) I have given into these lies, and just like everyone else, it’s a difficult battle to fight.Colour

I have since learnt that there are so many meaningful experiences that will last in memory so much longer than the things I so desire. My pursuit of things takes away the time and energy I have from my family and from living!

I want to collect memories……Not things
Memories that will inspire joy in my heart, ignite passion for my family and remind me that some of the smallest experiences in life have the greatest impact such as;

– Movie / series marathons with friends

– Walks in the garden with Mr M

– Playing with my niece and nephews

– Staying up until the early hours of the morning with my parents and sisters when visiting

– Waking up late on the weekend, having coffee prepared by Mr M and planning the day ahead.

There are so many ways to collect memories that will last a lifetime, memories that will remind us of God’s goodness. Memories that will unify families as you reminisce with your children someday. I have entered this world with no material possessions, and will leave it in the exact some way…….Only with a heart full of memories.

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions” Anthony J.D’Angelo

Facing the Fear of Death with Eyes Wide Open

If there exists one experience that, throughout history, around the world, generation after generation, binds mankind together, it is death. Death is something we all must face — no exercise or diet regimen, no meditation techniques, no amount of money can avoid it. It is the great equalizer.

To me, this is a topic I choose to not think about too often. The one thing I do think about though, is not dying. I don’t want to die! At least not now! I still want to have kids, put them through school, play soccer with them, watch them on their first dates. I want to grow as a person. I still have so much to do. I’m not ready – But then, who is?

Death forces us to let go of everything. We must accept this and go peacefully. If we cling to people, or to things, or to our hopes and dreams, then death will be a moment of agony. We don’t know what will happen next, but it makes sense to accept the inevitable, and let death be a peaceful letting go.

We fear death because we spend our lives clinging to things of this world. We strive for more money, we bond with friends, and most of all, we become attached to that voice in our head that we call “me”. We see our happiness as being dependent on these things, and conveniently ignore the grim reality that it could all end in an instant, for death can come at any time.

Seeing that no one knows how much time we have left, it’s best to start living, today, if you have just been alive all this time. DO NOT take people or TIME for granted. It can be snatched away from us at any given time.