I am Just Another Vulnerable Woman

I must admit; there is nothing more uplifting than music. When I’m having a bad day and turn on the radio to one of my feel-good songs, it feels like I’ve just swallowed a bottle of happy pills.Woman

Then there are those songs, that bring out the inner goddess in you. The song that celebrates the power and beauty of being a woman. They’re all sung by women, for only a woman can understand the perils, pain and challenges women may have to face every day, in the workplace, our societies or amongst other women.

Then we listen to “Run the world (Girls)” by Beyonce – and you ask yourself, do we really run the world? Are we really in control?

“Can’t hold us down” by Christina Aguilera – Can we really wear what we like without being a victim of assault? Can we really stop men from labelling us because we wouldn’t give them the time of day?

These are great feel-good songs, but the feeling of being in control ends when the song is over.

The reality is that the war against women is far from over. We might have won over the boardrooms, but the physical violence against women is increasing at an alarming rate. In this era, domestic violence is still taboo. “Our mothers, and grandmothers stuck it out, because they were uneducated and had nowhere to go” – this is something we hear far too often – “I will not be a man’s boxing bag”

But the truth is when it does happen to us, we’re ashamed, we’re ashamed of what people would say if they found out, we worry about how we’d be judged by our friends and family. We wonder about the gossip that would go around. Would people say I provoked him? Would they say I must have cheated on him and I deserved what I got? These are the kind of questions that we think about, before we can speak about it.

What I have noticed amongst women is no women would let another know that she’s not happy. No women will let another know that she’s not being treated well. No women will let another know that she needs help. And the reason for that is quite simple; I cannot let another women know that I do not have it “together”; they will think I’m weak.AA-women1-300x218

We’re in a time where women are expected to juggle her career, tha family, the social circles, and all the shenanigans that come with it, all without batting an eyelid. And when it gets too much for us, we feel like we’re failing our loved ones, failing ourselves, dropping the ball, not having it “together”. Everyone is managing just fine, so why am I complaining?

What I don’t know is, my friend might have it worse than I do, but she couldn’t speak to me, afraid of what I might think of her.

It’s about time that we, as women, need to start standing together, supporting each other.

I am not safe from the violence because of the work that I do. I am not safe from the violence because of the car that I drive. I am not safe from the violence because of the suburb I live in. I m not safe from the violence because my husband is a prominent businessman.

I am not safe – I am Just Another Vulnerable Woman.


Collect Memories Not Things

As an adult, I sit back and reflect on my past years, from childhood, to being a teenager, to growing into an adult. The one valuable lesson I have learnt over the past years, is that memories hold so much more value than that of things, the things I so badly wanted, and had to have because it was the trend, or because everyone had it.

Thinking back to my childhood, the memory that immediately comes to mind is playing; house with my sisters, hide and seek until after dark, hopscotch, and cricket on the road. We played school, marbles, yoyo and monkey in the middle. These are just a few of the things that come to mind. Nowhere in the memories I hold on to, is the any association with specific things.I want more

As a young adult, things became very important to me; a part of me I’d say. I used things to fill up what was missing inside me; contentment! Branded clothing became a necessity, it was essential to have the latest phone (something we can’t keep up with in this era of technology). Branded sneakers and sunglasses, to name a few “things”! I remember a time in my life when “buying” gave me instant satisfaction, from the things I’ll never use to the fancy gadgets I had no need for or clue how to use.

We’re now in a time where culture, society, television ads and every magazine encourages us or makes us believe that we “need” more. We all, at some point feel the pressure of having to please ourselves, by satisfying our thirst for more. It makes us feel good (for short periods of time). We find our “ego” voices inside us justifying why we need “that new thing” and if we don’t get it, we throw a pity party! (I’m so guilty of that, I feel terrible right now just thinking of some of  the occasions where i actually got my way!) I have given into these lies, and just like everyone else, it’s a difficult battle to fight.Colour

I have since learnt that there are so many meaningful experiences that will last in memory so much longer than the things I so desire. My pursuit of things takes away the time and energy I have from my family and from living!

I want to collect memories……Not things
Memories that will inspire joy in my heart, ignite passion for my family and remind me that some of the smallest experiences in life have the greatest impact such as;

– Movie / series marathons with friends

– Walks in the garden with Mr M

– Playing with my niece and nephews

– Staying up until the early hours of the morning with my parents and sisters when visiting

– Waking up late on the weekend, having coffee prepared by Mr M and planning the day ahead.

There are so many ways to collect memories that will last a lifetime, memories that will remind us of God’s goodness. Memories that will unify families as you reminisce with your children someday. I have entered this world with no material possessions, and will leave it in the exact some way…….Only with a heart full of memories.

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions” Anthony J.D’Angelo

Celebrate Yourself: What makes you feel good?

In commemoration of Women’s Month, I thought it would be great to share some feel good stuff….Just for us, women! In our busy lives, trying to juggle work, family, homes, friends, and everything else in-between, our well-being takes a knock. We take care of everyone and everything else besides ourselves. 

Now, we all have a weakness, whether it’s getting a manicure done, those killer heels that you’ve had your eye on, taking that hour-long bath, or watching a series marathon of your favourite tv show. It’s important for us to take this time out for ourselves and DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. So, for the next month, we WILL make the time or take it to do something special just for us.

Happy Women’s Month!

Go on, spoil yourself – And share what you do to make you feel good!


images – Google.com