Tag Archive | change

Becoming a Future Ex Smoker – My Personal Jihad

I could NEVER stop smoking! It’s the only thing that keeps me sane! I would kill someone if I don’t have a cigarette right now! I can’t do it.


Day 3

So it’s been 3 days since I’ve decided to quit the cancer sticks. My reasons for wanting to quit is another post on its own, which I will post very soon. For now, I want to share how this experience has become my personal jihad (struggle).

Until Friday 26th September, I used to smoke up to 15 cigarettes a day. First thing in the morning, last thing at night, every hour during work, first thing when getting into the car, after every meal. A cigarette fitted so perfectly between my index and middle fingers and into my every day life, that not having it there, would just not feel right.

And it doesn’t feel right. Over the past 3 days, I found that I would have to make changes to my daily routine in order to accommodate for the missing cigarette. It’s little changes, and it proves to be working…..so far. So, where I would normally wake up and go to the living area to smoke, I go directly to the bathroom, avoiding to leave the bedroom for a little while longer. (Smoking was never allowed in the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, MY RULES).

After facing that demon, then comes the coffee…It’s like coffee and a cigarette were made for each other, it’s like Bonnie and Clyde, pms and chocolate, sushi and wasabi, pizza and cheese, nachos and guacomole……and this list can go on and on, which brings me to the next demon……

The cravings

And not just nicotine cravings. I feel the need to keep my mouth occupied almost all the time. I’ve eaten more sweets over the past 2 days, than I would over 6 months. My body will seriously go into sugar overload mode! So today, I’ve decided to take the fruit approach (I do not want to add to the weight that I might put on, but secretly hoping that I don’t). Anyway, back to the coffee demon, since I wandered off into the land of food. I now have my coffee in the kitchen, while preparing the lunch packs. That way, I’m not sitting down and having my coffee.

Dealing with the tiredness….

I sleep. I sleep way earlier now. I’m not sure if I am tired due to the absence of smoking, or if I’m subconsciously avoiding watching tv in the living room, as I associate that with smoking too? Nevertheless, I sleep early.

The challenge

This weekend is going to be a tough one. It’s Eid ul Adha, and we will be spending it with my family. Besides my younger sister, everyone smokes. If I can make it through this weekend with no relapses, then I’m stronger than I ever believed.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

The World is not Black and White

untitledGod grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Everyone is different.

There are some differences that are simple. Some are more complex.
There are differences that are tied to self-identity. Sexual orientation, race, age, sex, background and interests. When someone has a problem with differences in these areas, it is often something that runs deep in their upbringing and is very hard to change.
Accepting differences can be difficult at times – yet – respecting others for their differences in necessary.

Why do we want everything to be our way? Because we’re human and selfish. But to progress and survive in a society, we need to be tolerant of each other, whatever the other person believes in, as far as religion or any other matter is concerned, is individual choice. The world is not black and white, and the sooner we realise that, the sooner will we see progression in our societies, and who knows, perhaps even world peace.

People are so busy disliking each other’s ways of life, that all they do is point fingers at how wrong others are, and all the positive and creative energy that the Universe has endowed us with goes to waste.People get distanced from each other due to intolerance; and when they don’t unite to work towards their betterment and that of others, the society plunges into darkness and despair. No one want to help or like anyone who does not conform to his or her own specific standards of piety or correctness.

This self-righteous attitude has never brought people together as it hurts the feelings of those who do not believe what others want them to believe. It is indeed a sad state of affairs when everyone feels they are right and others are wrong and deserves to be disrespected. If animals can live together in a jungle and respect each others rights and territories and only kill for survival, why can’t we humans, who are the most supreme species learn to live with each other in peace and harmony?

Maybe I’m writing this post after reading and watching of the horrific civilian attack in Nairobi over the weekend, I was appalled! As human beings , we are born with a free will, and have the right to choose what religion or persons we want to be associated with. If one thinks one is following the right and true path, the way to make others agree is to be an exemplary human being or try to be, so that others will automatically want to be like you. They will reform or change their opinions without one having to insult, criticize or kill for that matter.

In today’s fast changing and globally shrinking world in which different races, religions and cultures have to interact on a day-to-day basis, the only way to exist in peace is to accept and tolerate differences.

Open Letter to my Husband

Four years ago today, we became husband and wife. At 25 and 26, we were just madly in love. We didn’t know a lot back the, but we knew one thing for certain; we belonged together. And now, four years later, I can say with absolute certainty, that the past four years has been the best of my life.

I don’t tell you this as often as I should, but I love being your wife. In fact, I am proud to be your wife. You continue to amaze me year after year with your ability to selflessly love me. Like when you insist on starting dinner (even though you’re tired), so I can have an early shower and relax.

You would do anything for me. You put up with me and my shenanigans day in and day out. Like my unexplained moodiness, and for that, you deserve more than a blog post; you deserve a trophy.

Johannesburg-20120901-00093

You were always the one telling me “you can” when I didn’t think I could, the one telling me “you will” when I didn’t think I would. You have supported me through every new venture I’ve taken on (and they change very frequently), all without blinking an eye or making me feel guilty. From pushing me to get my diploma in events management, to auditioning for Masterchef, and the list goes on and on! I would not be where I am today, doing what I’m doing, and chasing my dreams, if it were not for you. That is a fact. You have been my rock, my coach in the corner, my confidence builder, and my daily encouragement, for four whole years. Thank you for believing in me, and helping me believe in myself.

We’re on a new journey now, you and I, and there’s nobody I’d rather be learning and sharing with than you. We might be great apart, but we’re even better together.

IMG_1426

You’re an amazing friend, and even better husband. Our marriage is far from perfect,but I honestly believe it gets better and better with each passing day. Thank you for loving me the way you do. Here’s to growing old and grey together! I love you Mr M, always have and always will!

Happy Anniversary

When Life doesn’t go as Planned

Most of us have a plan for our lives, relationships, careers, jobs, spouses, marriage, kids and so forth.woman-falling-off-ladder-007

We have these images, plans and dreams long before it actually happens, believing this “plan” will bring us happiness, success, joy and fulfillment, and what we imagine as an ideal existence.

But what happens when life doesn’t go according to our carefully laid out plan?

Our hearts break. Nothing makes sense anymore. Dreams disappear like smoke and seem impossibly out of our reach. We lose our faith. We lose control. Doubt creeps in. Then we try, desperately hard to get things back on track. We work, and stress and do everything we possibly can to find hope and a glimpse that at some point, this pain will end.

Then we ask ourselves the three most appalling questions;

What’s wrong with me?

Whom can I blame?

What’s the worst-case scenario?

The truth is; Plans are funny things. Most of the time, when we make them, we aren’t the ones who have control over the outcome. Sure, we can do our best and try to make them happen, but so much of our world – and our lives – are dictated by things outside of our control. We all encounter things in life (to some degree) that aren’t “supposed” to happen. Suddenly, plans change, and sometimes, totally disappear!

Many of us have to deal with impossibly difficult situations, that were never part of the plan. Though some of us are never faced with such dramatic decisions, we all have things that didn’t work out the way it “supposed” to.

I “supposed” to get that promotion by now.I “supposed” to be married by now. I “supposed to have achieved (fill in the blank) by now.

Life happens. Plans change.

Plans can be good, but when our focus is so intent on making them happen, it can be crushing when things don’t work out how we wanted them to.

The thing about our plans is, they can always change.

 

images: google.com

Almost 30 – Big Deal

It feels like forever since my last post! I have been so busy lately, I think I need to take my own advise, (Celebrate Yourself, Aug 06).

It feels almost necessary to post today, as it’s the last day that I get to say I’m 28! Now the thought of approaching 30, seems rather daunting, although, I’m not too sure why??? I guess growing up, when my parents were 30, they had 3 kids already, and just seemed to have it all together, and that meant they were OLD!
And then there’s having to answer to every relative as to why you don’t have any children yet (I don’t know? Maybe it’s just not written in my stars as yet?). And there’s the grey hairs popping out…like alot…and very often too.

2 weeks ago, when Mr.M turned 30, we spent the day after Acrobranching (A 2 hour adventure!) Despite the bruises and scratches, it was so much fun. I said to him that day, that I forget my age sometimes,(which is true). Besides getting married (the highlight of my life) nothing has drastically changed in my life, so it feels like I’m still 25! Only living the next year better than the previous.

So to me really, age means nothing….Its all about how you feel. And right now, I feel like I’m going to be 25 for a long time.

I Heart Change

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” — John F. Kennedy

 
Here’s the reality of it; you can love change  or hate it, fight it or embrace it, it’s going to happen with or without your approval.
Simply put, change is the “process of becoming different” it can be in the form of a new baby, changing careers, moving to a new city, the loss of a loved one, just to name a few. Be it positive or negative, there will always be the sense of unknown.

 
It’s been said that the only constant in our world today is change! Most of us resist it, because we are comfortable and secure in our world as we know it. And yet, if change is an inevitable reality of life (and it is), then we’d better be prepared to respond when the unexpected comes knocking on our door.

 
Not every person has the same tolerance to risk. Some adventurous souls actually relish the adventure of new situations. Others like their life exactly as it is: nice and predictable. For these people, the idea of change produces fear.

I recall having a conversation with an acquaintance about a month before I married my soul mate, Mr. M (that’s what I’ll refer hubby to on my blog). He heard I was getting married the following month after dating Mr. M for just nine months! (Yip nine months) And he said to me, (words I’ll never forget) “You never miss an opportunity, do you?” And I looked at him and said, “No, I don’t, and I am not afraid of change!” But after growing up in a small town, getting married would mean having to move to Jo’burg, (Mr. M’s hometown) 180km from home! It was exciting, but at the same time scary, would I find a job? Would I make new friends? And it was then I realized that I heart change! It keeps me alive, fueled, and ready for anything and everything!

From past experiences involving change, this is what I’ve observed;
It always seems bigger than it really is. We’re human, (and worse women!) We tend to over-think, over-analyze, and almost always expect the worse, and once we’ve passed the particular “stage” we look back and say “Oh? That wasn’t as bad as I thought”. Best way to deal with it; take it one day at a time, step by step

 
Change creates unwanted stress. That’s a known fact. And no two people deals with stress the same way. So now you not only have to deal with this “change” but also the stress that comes with it. If you’re in a marriage or relationship, you need to understand one another’s stress reactions and this will enable you to work together more effectively. Times of intense pressure can either pull you together or push you apart. Stress will come, and you need to ensure that it does not divide and conquer.

 
Life doesn’t always follow the plan that you may have had laid out for yourself. However, opportunities often present themselves in unexpected ways—learn to recognize and take advantage of these opportunities even if they were not part of your initial plan.

Focus is the next principle on dealing with change. When a transition in your life occurs, be sure to keep your thoughts on what you can control. Certain aspects of your life may operate outside of your control.
You have the opportunity to choose a perspective about change; is it overwhelming and stressful, or exciting and fun?

 
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

images: Google.com