Tag Archive | attitude

The World is not Black and White

untitledGod grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Everyone is different.

There are some differences that are simple. Some are more complex.
There are differences that are tied to self-identity. Sexual orientation, race, age, sex, background and interests. When someone has a problem with differences in these areas, it is often something that runs deep in their upbringing and is very hard to change.
Accepting differences can be difficult at times – yet – respecting others for their differences in necessary.

Why do we want everything to be our way? Because we’re human and selfish. But to progress and survive in a society, we need to be tolerant of each other, whatever the other person believes in, as far as religion or any other matter is concerned, is individual choice. The world is not black and white, and the sooner we realise that, the sooner will we see progression in our societies, and who knows, perhaps even world peace.

People are so busy disliking each other’s ways of life, that all they do is point fingers at how wrong others are, and all the positive and creative energy that the Universe has endowed us with goes to waste.People get distanced from each other due to intolerance; and when they don’t unite to work towards their betterment and that of others, the society plunges into darkness and despair. No one want to help or like anyone who does not conform to his or her own specific standards of piety or correctness.

This self-righteous attitude has never brought people together as it hurts the feelings of those who do not believe what others want them to believe. It is indeed a sad state of affairs when everyone feels they are right and others are wrong and deserves to be disrespected. If animals can live together in a jungle and respect each others rights and territories and only kill for survival, why can’t we humans, who are the most supreme species learn to live with each other in peace and harmony?

Maybe I’m writing this post after reading and watching of the horrific civilian attack in Nairobi over the weekend, I was appalled! As human beings , we are born with a free will, and have the right to choose what religion or persons we want to be associated with. If one thinks one is following the right and true path, the way to make others agree is to be an exemplary human being or try to be, so that others will automatically want to be like you. They will reform or change their opinions without one having to insult, criticize or kill for that matter.

In today’s fast changing and globally shrinking world in which different races, religions and cultures have to interact on a day-to-day basis, the only way to exist in peace is to accept and tolerate differences.

Our Fallen Hero – Oscar

2012 Virgin Active Sports Industry AwardsJust a week ago, Oscar Pistorius was just the “Blade Runner” to every South African, double amputee Paralympic medalist and first amputee runner to compete in the Olympic Games, an inspiration to millions all over the world. The positive approach that he has is incredible. He was once quoted saying “You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have”

 
And then, last Thursday February 14 2013, Oscar was painted with a different brush.On the 8am news bulletin, I heard that Oscar has accidentally shot and killed his girlfriend, mistaking her for a burglar! And the first thing I though was what a terrible tragedy. With each news bulletin, a different version of the alleged murder was revealed.
Within hours, social networks were flooded with comments, remarks, and jokes about the runner. People simply forgetting that a life was lost! Forgetting that Reeva Steenkamp was someone’s daughter! Forgetting that just months ago, we set glued to television sets, waiting anxiously to watch Oscar participate at the Olympics.

Then I had an epiphany – We find it easier to deal with fiction, than it is dealing with the truth. Maybe that’s how many people react to shock. And shock was the emotion that was felt by every South African as well as myriads around the world.
It’s been five days since the news broke to the world, and it’s unbelievable as to how many “incidents” about the runners’ personal life is surfacing; His love for fast cars, wild animals and guns. Is that not typical male interest? But do we admire a man who keeps a machine gun in the house? Whether he killed his girlfriend accidentally or deliberately?

Limiting ourselves to his behaviour on the track, many people lost some admiration for him at the London Paralympic games. He was beaten fairly by a Brazilian athlete, and his immediate response was to accuse his rival of cheating. There was no cheating. After a word from his team,(no doubt mentioning his $2 million a year sponsorship deals), backtracking followed, and an apology was made. But some of us wondered why, exactly, we were expected to admire this person.

Sportspeople are routinely held up as role models or, when they fall short, regarded as people who have fallen short and stopped being the role models that they surely could be. Sport is at the centre of our moral universe, sportspeople are a force for good. Everyone should admire and emulate them, right?

It would be easy to say that people like Pistorius are rare: that most sports stars offer great role models to young people. But then there is Lance Armstrong, barely apologising after years of drug-taking and violent threats against people in cycling who were the slightest bit curious.
Tiger Woods, and his infamous cheating scandal. There is John Terry, who was captain of the England football team when he was found to have called Anton Ferdinand a “fucking black c**t” – And after the hero’s career is over? The role model may end up like Mike Tyson?

Of course, sport is full, too, of decent and honourable people. With the likes of Pele, doing great things for Africa. David Beckham, clearly he thinks of how he can behave well, to society as well as to his family. They are worth our admiration. But then, seriously – OJ Simpson? Diego Maradona?

Aiming to find role models in sport is a dangerous business. Sportsmen seem no better behaved on the whole than any other segment of the entertainment business, with the distinction that strippers, on the whole, don’t talk piously about their duty to be “role models” or how much everyone admires them when they are arrested for killing their partners.
But even if the topic of our admiration is as well-behaved as anyone might wish, is it really the best object to present to our children for their aspiration? Children should be encouraged into libraries, to extra-mural studies, to regard revolutionaries, poets, painters, thinkers, doctors, professionals as their heroes worthy of their aspiration. They will most likely lead useful and productive lives.

The individual case is terribly sad – a young woman has been killed, and proves that the abuse of women occurs across all boundaries, irrespective of ethnic groups, or socio economic statuses. Perhaps, as the story unfolds and the court comes to its conclusion, we could wonder whether we really want to present this culture as anything worth aspiring to, or even taking much interest in.

(THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION)

Celebrate Yourself: Become your own best friend

It’s funny that we think we’ll help ourselves by being hard on ourselves, when most people would never try to help their friends or children that way. Here’s my way of letting that little voice inside my head be my best friend and not worst enemy!

 

  • You don’t have to be perfect; You don’t expect your friends to be perfect, do you? You’re human, too. Nobody can be perfect. Be realistic in your expectations of yourself.
  • You don’t have to know everything; When you encounter something you don’t know, you can see it as a threat, or you can see it as a chance to learn and grow. It’s easy to be threatened by things you don’t know if you take their existence to mean you’re inadequate. But it’s impossible to know everything! What’s more, if you take the opportunity to learn when you’re presented with new things, you make yourself more skilled, more knowledgeable, and more awesome all the time.
  • You can ask for help; This was a tough one for me–I always hated admitting I didn’t know something or couldn’t do everything myself. That would mean I wasn’t perfect! But the reality is, nobody can do everything alone. If you ask for help, people won’t think you’re weak. Accepting help from people you know is actually a great way to get closer.
  • Falling short doesn’t mean you’re stupid or bad; You can do better next time without beating yourself up. Look at what went wrong and see what you can learn from it, but don’t wallow in it or let it stop you.

In order to be your own best friend, you must learn to develop the same kind of tolerant goodwill, positive attitude and love toward yourself that you feel toward people whom you treasure as friends.

images:Google.com