Almost 30 – Is it time to ditch the Sneakers

imagesOver the past few weeks, I’ve had this crazy thought. I’m almost thirty and love my sneakers, particularly my Converse and Van’s, so at almost three decades, is it time to hang them up?

I went through my teenage years being the tomboy. I only wore jeans and sneakers. I watched soccer like I invented the game. I remember jumping walls instead of using the gate. The one thing, however, that I could never get myself to do, was to use a cap. I hate a cap (even on men).

I recall a time in my early twenties, when I decided to be a “girl”. I stopped wearing sneakers, and only wore heels when I wore jeans.
That didn’t hold up for too long though.

Before I knew it, I found myself being the store manager of a street-credible sport shop. Sporty clothes and sneakers at staff discount! Heaven! It was then that my love for these shoes were rediscovered, and has not left me since.

3a863403aa02075309c93179ce105b38I love heels, I love buying them and owning them, but wearing then all the time? Is it womanly possible? The truth is, heels are getting higher, and becoming more uncomfortable. They look gorgeous, I know, but the pain, I hate discomfort of any sort.

But should I find an alternative and ditch the sneakers?


I am Just Another Vulnerable Woman

I must admit; there is nothing more uplifting than music. When I’m having a bad day and turn on the radio to one of my feel-good songs, it feels like I’ve just swallowed a bottle of happy pills.Woman

Then there are those songs, that bring out the inner goddess in you. The song that celebrates the power and beauty of being a woman. They’re all sung by women, for only a woman can understand the perils, pain and challenges women may have to face every day, in the workplace, our societies or amongst other women.

Then we listen to “Run the world (Girls)” by Beyonce – and you ask yourself, do we really run the world? Are we really in control?

“Can’t hold us down” by Christina Aguilera – Can we really wear what we like without being a victim of assault? Can we really stop men from labelling us because we wouldn’t give them the time of day?

These are great feel-good songs, but the feeling of being in control ends when the song is over.

The reality is that the war against women is far from over. We might have won over the boardrooms, but the physical violence against women is increasing at an alarming rate. In this era, domestic violence is still taboo. “Our mothers, and grandmothers stuck it out, because they were uneducated and had nowhere to go” – this is something we hear far too often – “I will not be a man’s boxing bag”

But the truth is when it does happen to us, we’re ashamed, we’re ashamed of what people would say if they found out, we worry about how we’d be judged by our friends and family. We wonder about the gossip that would go around. Would people say I provoked him? Would they say I must have cheated on him and I deserved what I got? These are the kind of questions that we think about, before we can speak about it.

What I have noticed amongst women is no women would let another know that she’s not happy. No women will let another know that she’s not being treated well. No women will let another know that she needs help. And the reason for that is quite simple; I cannot let another women know that I do not have it “together”; they will think I’m weak.AA-women1-300x218

We’re in a time where women are expected to juggle her career, tha family, the social circles, and all the shenanigans that come with it, all without batting an eyelid. And when it gets too much for us, we feel like we’re failing our loved ones, failing ourselves, dropping the ball, not having it “together”. Everyone is managing just fine, so why am I complaining?

What I don’t know is, my friend might have it worse than I do, but she couldn’t speak to me, afraid of what I might think of her.

It’s about time that we, as women, need to start standing together, supporting each other.

I am not safe from the violence because of the work that I do. I am not safe from the violence because of the car that I drive. I am not safe from the violence because of the suburb I live in. I m not safe from the violence because my husband is a prominent businessman.

I am not safe – I am Just Another Vulnerable Woman.

I want to be a Phenomenal Woman

This past weekend Mr M and I attended the 50th birthday party of an exceptional woman. And after leaving the party, I have started thinking really hard, about me, not just as a person,but as a woman.

Whilst listening to the great speeches, I wondered: What would people say about me, as a woman, when I celebrate 50?

AA-women1-300x218I might not know what will be said then, but I do know what I would like to hear. Every woman has the potential to become a phenomenal woman. It doesn’t happen overnight, but working on ourselves day-to-day will ensure that when we reach 50, we can say, “I am a phenomenal woman; and I have lived my best life”

Then you ask, what is a phenomenal woman? We all might have our own interpretations, I came across this that pretty much sums it up;

A phenomenal woman is purposeful and passionate. She is driven by her thoughts, and makes her thoughts a reality. She has imperfections, but it’s what she does with her imperfections that make her phenomenal. She is always true to herself. She doesn’t have to be a certain size or shape. Religion, age, sexual orientation, the family she was born into, or the colour of her skin do not matter. She is strong, yet weak, and struggles with her own identity from time to time. She is true to her voice and inner self. She is resourceful and honest. She is brutal at times, forcing her way into the worlds reality. (Taken from Phenomenal Women: The Empowerment of YOU Loretta A. Cella)

I feel the need to make this a personal journey. Afterall, I have 20 years to prepare for my 50th celebration.


Time to Clean Up

It’almost that time of the year, where we bid farewell to the year that was. For some it was good, for others, not so good, for rest…..well, we’ll have a better one next year.

I find this time of the year the perfect time to clean up. (And I don’t mean just the clutter!)
I try to set time aside to clean up emotionally and mentally too. Letting go of past hurts, anger, all the not so nice feelings and emotions that I have managed to accumulate over the past year. I have come up with a method to this. I put pen to paper! The old fashion way! I write down events or conversations that has angered me, or caused any emotion that affected me in a negative way. I then relook at it, and ask myself if it is really worth holding on to? Most of the time, the negative emotion is not triggered after writing it, then I know it’s just my mind holding on to something that it thinks is there. (That probably doesn’t even make any sense).

I find it important to start off on a clean slate.
As we clear out, we make room for new stuff, as it does nothing for us other than weigh us down physically as well as emotionally. Letting go, gives one inner peace. The kind of peace that you see in children. The kind of peace that make you appreciate life! The kind of peace that everyone human being should have.

Celebrate Yourself: Become your own best friend

It’s funny that we think we’ll help ourselves by being hard on ourselves, when most people would never try to help their friends or children that way. Here’s my way of letting that little voice inside my head be my best friend and not worst enemy!


  • You don’t have to be perfect; You don’t expect your friends to be perfect, do you? You’re human, too. Nobody can be perfect. Be realistic in your expectations of yourself.
  • You don’t have to know everything; When you encounter something you don’t know, you can see it as a threat, or you can see it as a chance to learn and grow. It’s easy to be threatened by things you don’t know if you take their existence to mean you’re inadequate. But it’s impossible to know everything! What’s more, if you take the opportunity to learn when you’re presented with new things, you make yourself more skilled, more knowledgeable, and more awesome all the time.
  • You can ask for help; This was a tough one for me–I always hated admitting I didn’t know something or couldn’t do everything myself. That would mean I wasn’t perfect! But the reality is, nobody can do everything alone. If you ask for help, people won’t think you’re weak. Accepting help from people you know is actually a great way to get closer.
  • Falling short doesn’t mean you’re stupid or bad; You can do better next time without beating yourself up. Look at what went wrong and see what you can learn from it, but don’t wallow in it or let it stop you.

In order to be your own best friend, you must learn to develop the same kind of tolerant goodwill, positive attitude and love toward yourself that you feel toward people whom you treasure as friends.

Celebrate Yourself: What makes you feel good?

In commemoration of Women’s Month, I thought it would be great to share some feel good stuff….Just for us, women! In our busy lives, trying to juggle work, family, homes, friends, and everything else in-between, our well-being takes a knock. We take care of everyone and everything else besides ourselves. 

Now, we all have a weakness, whether it’s getting a manicure done, those killer heels that you’ve had your eye on, taking that hour-long bath, or watching a series marathon of your favourite tv show. It’s important for us to take this time out for ourselves and DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. So, for the next month, we WILL make the time or take it to do something special just for us.

Happy Women’s Month!

Go on, spoil yourself – And share what you do to make you feel good!


images –