Archive | May 2013

Regret-Letting it go

pastWe all mess up sometimes, whether it’s a fall out with a friend, engaging in self-destructive behaviour, or cutting corners  at work……And with those mistakes often come the overwhelming feelings of guilt. Shame. Self-condemnation. Humiliation.

Let it go. Forgive yourself. Move on. It’s easy to say, but so much harder to do. Too often I punish myself for past mistakes, (which is in essence a bad decision, which results in regret), as if I can somehow ‘make-up’ for the wrong I have done. We walk through every day feeling less-than. We feel like losers. No good.

The hardest person to forgive is yourself. Not the friend that backstabbed you. Not the mother who abandoned you at birth. Not the ex that broke your heart. Because you know yourself and live with yourself every day. Go figure

I found that being honest with yourself, about how you’ve messed up and the consequences of your behaviour, helps to put things back into perspective. If you are true to yourself, and know that it’s something you will never do again, let it go. Beating yourself up for years to come, is not worth the time, effort and mental energy. I realised that I have to accept it for what it is. As an imperfect person, I will make mistakes in my life. I will hurt people sometimes. I will have regrets. It’s part of living in a less-than perfect world. But, I have a choice, it’s either my past will keep me in a rut of guilt and humiliation or accept it and experience the freedom to move on and enjoy the now.

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Pre 30 Meltdown

Turning 30 is a milestone in any woman’s life, and it can be a source of considerable anxiety.The impending transition of your (supposedly) youthful and carefree 20’s to your more “adult” 30’s can spark an existential crisis in even the most confident and self-assured amongst us. I’ve recently found myself dwelling over the end of my “glory days“, and thinking about my childhood dreams that never quite came to fruition.

Turning 30 is one of those things that everyone has an opinion about. At sixteen, I compared it to something similar to the apocalypse – an instant death of youth, soft supple skin, and free-range irresponsibility. At twenty something, I saw it only as the next dreaded step, working tirelessly to achieve everything I told myself I would do before the third decade hits. And then you find yourself sitting on thirties’ doorstep, and wonder; How did I get here? Where are my two kids I suppose to have had? What happen to my home with the white picket fence? Why have I not won my two Oscars as yet for my role as the Bond Girl? Where did my personal trainer go to?

I don’t know if I’m the only woman facing this fear and anxiety of turning thirty.

I find myself walking and wondering who’s following me, and I suddenly realise it’s my own ass bouncing about behind me….Yeah, it turns out I’m not naturally young anymore. Grey hairs are starting to breed on my head; a new one spotted every 2 hours! Then people say things like “You look good for your age” (Who you kidding?) Getting pregnant turns from the scary thing you should never do, at any cost…..to what you must do, at any cost.

You’re aware that your metabolism is starting to slow down, very quick. Then there’s the bladder (I could use a replacement already!). And the sad realisation that by definition you are not a prodigy. You have, however, became an expert on taxes and grocery shopping on a budget.

Then there’s the “Keeping up with the 20 somethings”. Now, I’ve always loved dancing and still do, more than anything else. And yes, I might not do it as often as earlier in my life, but when I do, I think, yeah…I can still do this. But the next morning, my body looks me straight in the eye and say; “Girlfriend, please…..you’re not 20 anymore!”

This, I believe, is a quarter-life crisis. I think that the mid-life crisis gets way too much press, so no one pays attention to the quarter-life crisis. Around the age of 25, there is a moment of panic: or a prolonged moment of panic, which for me has lasted about five years and has yet to stop.

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Live Without Limit

“Release the bonds of the familiar”

Most of us will not become rich and famous. Most of us will not catapult to notable mastery and excellence in our lives. We will miss the mark, not because we lack talent, or knowledge, or skills. We will miss the mark because we refuse to move out of our familiar frame of reference. We refuse to move beyond the desire to be content.

Breaking boundaries strikes fear into the hearts of most people. Breaking boundaries means breaking out of the comfortable life of limits. Are you ready to break your boundaries? Are you ready to move beyond the dark walls of limits, and into the infinite brilliance of your potential?