Archive | October 2012

Don’t be what people want to see

I’m sitting here really trying to figure out why we live to impress others. It so exhausting! I remember back in my early years of life when everyone wanted what everybody else had. Be it clothes, toys or whatever. We had to get it because we wanted to fit in. We didn’t want to be the only one on the outside of the ring of popularity. (I, however was not one of those kids who got what I wanted and guess what? It hasn’t affected the quality of my life today in any way….So, thanks mum and dad.

Living in the adult world, fashion is not really a factor anymore, or is it? It seemed we grew out of all that nonsense, but have we? How do we do it now? If you take a look at yourself, how are you today as an adult? Living to impress? Only now it’s with material possessions, but a little higher priced than a Barbie doll or LA Gear tekkies! Our possessions now are the cars we drive, and the house and neighbourhood we live in, not forgetting the designer shoes, handbags, clothes etc. Do these things really define us? Does it make us fun to hang out with?

I don’t really know where I’m going to with this; it was just a thought that crossed my mind. But the reality of it is, you see it every day, be it in the work place or socially, even amongst families for that matter. People make it known that they’re in debt up to the neck, trying to up hold a certain lifestyle. Is it really all worth it? Do people really care about what they see? Have we moved into a time where we base our self-esteem and self-worth on how others perceive us?

I guess what I’m trying to get to is; simply be who you want to be! Walk away from people who don’t respect you as a person. Don’t change yourself; because you think that’s what other people want to see! Or because that’s what society expects of you

Believe in yourself and stop trying to convince others. James De La Vega

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I Heart Change

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” — John F. Kennedy

 
Here’s the reality of it; you can love change  or hate it, fight it or embrace it, it’s going to happen with or without your approval.
Simply put, change is the “process of becoming different” it can be in the form of a new baby, changing careers, moving to a new city, the loss of a loved one, just to name a few. Be it positive or negative, there will always be the sense of unknown.

 
It’s been said that the only constant in our world today is change! Most of us resist it, because we are comfortable and secure in our world as we know it. And yet, if change is an inevitable reality of life (and it is), then we’d better be prepared to respond when the unexpected comes knocking on our door.

 
Not every person has the same tolerance to risk. Some adventurous souls actually relish the adventure of new situations. Others like their life exactly as it is: nice and predictable. For these people, the idea of change produces fear.

I recall having a conversation with an acquaintance about a month before I married my soul mate, Mr. M (that’s what I’ll refer hubby to on my blog). He heard I was getting married the following month after dating Mr. M for just nine months! (Yip nine months) And he said to me, (words I’ll never forget) “You never miss an opportunity, do you?” And I looked at him and said, “No, I don’t, and I am not afraid of change!” But after growing up in a small town, getting married would mean having to move to Jo’burg, (Mr. M’s hometown) 180km from home! It was exciting, but at the same time scary, would I find a job? Would I make new friends? And it was then I realized that I heart change! It keeps me alive, fueled, and ready for anything and everything!

From past experiences involving change, this is what I’ve observed;
It always seems bigger than it really is. We’re human, (and worse women!) We tend to over-think, over-analyze, and almost always expect the worse, and once we’ve passed the particular “stage” we look back and say “Oh? That wasn’t as bad as I thought”. Best way to deal with it; take it one day at a time, step by step

 
Change creates unwanted stress. That’s a known fact. And no two people deals with stress the same way. So now you not only have to deal with this “change” but also the stress that comes with it. If you’re in a marriage or relationship, you need to understand one another’s stress reactions and this will enable you to work together more effectively. Times of intense pressure can either pull you together or push you apart. Stress will come, and you need to ensure that it does not divide and conquer.

 
Life doesn’t always follow the plan that you may have had laid out for yourself. However, opportunities often present themselves in unexpected ways—learn to recognize and take advantage of these opportunities even if they were not part of your initial plan.

Focus is the next principle on dealing with change. When a transition in your life occurs, be sure to keep your thoughts on what you can control. Certain aspects of your life may operate outside of your control.
You have the opportunity to choose a perspective about change; is it overwhelming and stressful, or exciting and fun?

 
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

images: Google.com