51 Shades of Disappointment

I am really not a romance novel enthusiast, but l found myself getting caught up in the 50 Shades of Grey frenzy, and curious, I wanted to know what the fuss was all about, so I went and got me the trilogy. Preferring hardbacks to e-books, here’s my take on 50SoG.

 
It was an interesting concept – for a “romance” novel. However,
The story is weak,
The writing is appalling
The pace is slow and awkward,
The characters come across as bipolar and not at all complicated,
The “romance” is juvenile.
The “erotic” scenes seem to have been written by a painfully shy and sheltered 13-year-old.
The repetition of words becomes unbearable…….Holy crap, holy shit, holy cow, holy hell, jeez, flush, blush, I find my equilibrium, murmur, whisper…….the list is endless
I think Ana has chewed away her bottom lip by the 5th chapter,
Really? “He’s fifty shades of fucked up”; “I’m 7 shades of crimson”,

The good:
Nice cover art,
I understand why women everywhere are going gaga over this book, given, that it has sold 5 million copies in its first week making it the highest selling book of all time in the UK;
If I were 13, this would have been the best book I have ever read.
It’s every “girls’” dream to have a “white” knight or in Christians case “dark” knight, that is beyond handsome, is a self-made billionaire, not millionaire, billionaire (at 26!), he’s attracted to YOU and you’re shy, inexperienced and clumsy.He spends money on you, and you are not a whore!

Sounds perfect right?

Oh did I mention, he is a pianist, pilot, (he owns a helicopter and jet), and fluent in French!

Bottom line, I’m 51 Shades of Disappointed at the level of maturity or lack thereof, which was depicted in the first book. Two chapters to go, along with Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed……(Which I intend on reading anyway)

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